I have to admit, on more levels than I care to admit, this was… entertaining? Then again, Youtubing “fat kid falls” is also entertaining. Thrill of the Kill (2006) follows a 20-something Vermontian (not a word?) bartender named Kelly Holden coping with the unsolved murder of her promiscuous sister, Alison, a year after the fact. Kelly is on a mission to close the case on her own – mixing Slow Comfortable Screws and Red-Headed Sluts is a surefire headstart to a life in the detective game – with the help of author Graydon Jennings, whose latest crime novel mirrors Alison’s death EXACTLY!
I’d tell you the actors’ names, but the end credits neglect to mention the leads for some weird reason. I do know that Graydon is also the dude from Silk Stalkings, which I only know from catching occasionally promos during Monday Night Raw in the mid-90s.
Anyway, despite two, maybe three red herrings, I cracked this case in about zero minutes myself. SPOILER: The writer did it. And it makes pretty much no sense at all. He wrote it all down for everyone to read and instead of promptly going to jail, he had himself a national bestseller because he said, in his best Gambit voice, “Hey chere. Dis is fiction.”
But the bartender got you, you sonofabitch! Damn you, Kelly Holden! Damn you and your Harvey Wallbangers! And damn you, Movie Squirrel. Another 90 minutes of our lives gone. Gone!
No word on if Thrill of the Kill was inspired by OJ Simpson’s If I Did It.