REVIEW: Man of Steel

Here’s a list of pros and cons from Man of Steel, which, to the surprise of no one, is coming out like gangbusters this opening weekend.

PRO: It was better than Christopher Nolan’s last go-around in the DC sandbox, The Dark Knight Rises.

CON: Superman is the apex of comic book characters. This movie’s success can never be proportionate to that. At best, this will go down as on-par with Iron Man.

TANGENT: I loved Christopher Nolan’s inventive The Prestige. After that, though, he made one great Batman (The Dark Knight), one terrible, sloppy-as-hell Batman (The Dark Knight Rises), and one Batman that’s too long with nothing going on (Batman Begins). Inception gets way more credit than it deserves, too. Great CGI, good story, but this is The Matrix with dreams replacing computer programs.

PRO: The casting of Diane Lane and Kevin Costner as the Kents works perfectly. Costner’s Field of Dreams farmer and Lane’s inability to age made them perfect fits to play these roles.

CON: Amy Adams’ Lois Lane is spunky and puts up a fight, but Amy Adams is not Lois Lane. She’s just pretending, and I don’t believe it.

PRO: Henry Cavill looks a hell of a lot like Christopher Reeve in a handful of shots. It’s kinda cool.

CON: Henry Cavill looks a hell of a lot like Christopher Reeve in a handful of shots. It’s kinda creepy.

PRO: General Zod’s (Michael Shannon… this guy is EVERYWHERE lately) story and motivation are clearly defined and make sense.

CON: The opening sequences on Krypton were ridiculous in every way. For one, Zod blows open the walls of a council meeting, and Krypton’s rules all sit there like they don’t even give a shit. I thought I was in for a terrible movie right there.

PRO: Clark’s development into a super-being is treated a way not yet explored on-screen. It’s cool, and very X-Men-esque. Good world-building.

CON: Dragons on Krypton. I don’t follow comic book Superman, so I can’t speak to the accuracy of this in regard to source material, but Jor-El whistles (in the middle of a military invasion – re: FIREFIGHT WITH EXPLOSIONS), and his trusty dragon appears and whisks him away to safety. With the crazy tech on Krypton, that’s like me weaving through traffic on the Garden State Parkway on a horse. Shitty world-building.

PRO: No Lex Luthor.

TANGENT: Seriously, your power is to do ANYTHING you want, and you’re mortal enemy, the one thorn in your side, is Steve Jobs-meets-Mr. Clean?!?

CON: No Jimmy Olsen.

PRO: Great CGI, like, to the point where filmmakers, going forward, should reference how to tap into technology’s potential to enhance their movies without chop-blocking the final product.

CON: Superman doesn’t seem to care what he breaks.

PRO: The action propels the story forward rather quickly.

CON: Superman doesn’t seem to care what he breaks.

PRO: Zod doesn’t seem to care what he breaks. His gravity smasher thing and battle armor are awesome.

PRO: I caught a 9:45am, $6.50 screening to kick off my day.

CON: It was the most beautiful day of 2013.

PRO: There is no post-credits scene you need to stick around for. That’s a Marvel thing.

CON: No one told me.

FINAL RATING:Netflix: 3 Stars


12 thoughts on “REVIEW: Man of Steel

  1. One of the best reviews of this movie yet!!

    PRO: Kevin Costner didn’t make me want to puke all over the place like he normally does.


    1. That, good sir, is a worthy addition to the PRO/CON list of Man of Steel. And thanks for the compliment. Means a lot from a daily reviewer immersed in the world of talking shit about movies. On a related note, I’ve got three movies lined up for potential flushing for Fall’s Shitfest. All depends which one I want to suffer through once more…

      1. I’m with you – I can’t believe I am going to re-watch one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen for my own contest LOL HAHAHAHA It’s terrible!!

  2. Great review! Almost as great as your little mini-review in my comments. Lol! Seriously – that was excellent. I agree with “Superman doesn’t seem to care what he breaks”. Ha! I know! A bit overly destructive…

    Jimmy Olsen – isn’t he now Jenny, the stupid chick who needed saving?

    As soon as a movie’s credits roll, that’s when I suddenly remember to Google if there’s a scene after the credits. πŸ˜‰

    1. Ohhhhhh. I forgot about Jimmy = Jenny. What the eff was the point of that? Instead of a stupid helpless manchild, we have a stupid helpless woman? Wow, they’re really breaking new ground there.

      I’m liking this movie less and less as days go by.

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