MUPPET MONDAY: Johnny Fiama


12x12, acrylic on canvas
12×12, acrylic on canvas

At first, you might be like, WHOOOOOOOOOO? But no, this is not the owl from Sesame Street.

Ba dum Chhhhhhhhhh.

Wokka wokka.

Unlike Clyde, Johnny Fiama is a GREAT addition to Muppets cast in the 90s. He’s kind of a cross between Goodfellas and Tony Bennett. The wise guy thing might be my New Jersey eyes projecting it onto the character, but his last name is an anagram for “mafia.” Gasp!

He had a helper monkey – we all need one – named Sal Minella, and even hosted a talk show segment on Muppets Tonight:

Johnny Fiama is the perfect name for a crooner/suspicious underworld element. Here are some other gimmicks and what their Muppet names should be:

Zombie Muppet: Dirk Crud –Everyone knows he’s stupid because he’s the only guy who laughs at Fozzie’s jokes.

Midwestern Surfer Muppet: Tex Wax – he would definitely have a ten gallon hat – which actually holds ten gallons of water… and a fish (the hat will be clear, so Tex can interact with this fish, named Buffalo Cod) – and chaps over his flowery print board shorts. His nose needs the white mask of sunblock.

Werewolf Muppet: Chained Lonny – Strictly a one-note character like Crazy Harry, Chained Lonny would be bound and gagged like Hannibal Lecter, earning both his moniker and a reputation as one of the baddest monsters on the block. I think his voice should sound like Mike Tyson… on helium.

…I could keep going, but I kinda wanna design these characters now.

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