Insomnia forced me to the theatre with the intent to see Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, but their 10am screening was cancelled for some reason. (I took this as an omen that the movie would be worse than I could ever imagine, but more on that later.) So I wound up with a ticket to Movie 43, something I knew nothing about other than seeing a GetGlue sticker with Anna Faris. I can’t stand her, so I figured I was trading one terrible flick for another.
So it was with much surprise that I learned 43 is about a half-dozen sketches strung together under a flimsy “plot.” This is predictably a mess, but some of it is HILARIOUS.
Five Words: Hugh. Jackman. For. The. Oscar.
Aside from the overarching story of a crazy man (Dennis Quaid) trying to sell his script to a Hollywood exec (Greg Kinnear), I had hoped there would be some connection between the deluge of ball, dick and poop jokes in the disparate skits – Johnny Knoxville and Sean William Scott capture a leprechaun; Richard Gere heads a company that manufactures iPods shaped like hot chicks – but by the time the completely unfunny Batman bit hit the screen halfway through, my hopes were dashed.
Jason Sudakis’ Batman and Justin Long’s Robin got exactly zero laughs from the the audience, including 40 high school boys in front of me and the comic book nerd inside of me. (Ironically, the one good joke from that bit, a one-liner involving Art Garfunkel’s quaff, only appeared at the end credits.) I forgot Halle Berry had a prominent role until I looked at the above poster again, and the Elizabeth Banks short was not worth waiting for the preliminary credit reel to finish.
The best that can come from Movie 43 is that someone somewhere thinks there is a time and place for an update to the 1960s Adam West Batman, that time being now, the place anywhere that will allow me to watch it. In a world where the Aquabats exist on TV, I think there’s room for a new live-action, campy Batman. Who’s with me?
Unless you’re realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly high, I would wait until 43 hits HBO to see it. But then again, that Jackman sketch (the 1st one) might be worth an admission price.